Friday, 6 November 2020

Whale writing

 This week we did a writing about a whale shark here it is and trying to make it exciting by adding dialogue and interesting word choices


As the diver jumped into the sea he noticed that the ocean had a big black patch in it and he decided to   go closer to it as he came closer he noticed it was a colossal whale shark which had its mouth open and was stucking him in with every second he breathed. He was about 2 metres away from the mouth that he noticed that he was going to get stuck in there till the whale shark opened its mouth again so he decided to try to swim away but there was no way he could swim away so he decided to let it stuck him in and he would just have till the shark opened its mouth again. As he got entirely sucked  in he thought it was exciting to get sucked and he thought it was going to be a slide going down the mouth of the whale shark but when he got in it was not what he thought. It had a skeleton lying around and tons of heads now he was worried he might be the next body but then he heard the mouth open again and something came in it was a girl diver that had sucked in. He went up to her and said ”hello are you ok” she said “yes I was on a search party for you but I guess I did find you” 

[“How is there a search party for me already I only  got sucked in tens minutes ago”  “no you got sucked in 2 days ago”  “what that must mean what no I can’t be”  “ That must mean the time goes slower down here] “so that must mean There talking got cut of from the mouth opening again but this time it was fish Yay said the man because this meant they would not starve to death than they used a sharp fish and stabbed it and we swimmed out .The end 


2 comments:

  1. Kia ora Ted, My name is Maria from Room 23 I really think that your writing was so great I really like the way that you used long words and placed full stops where they need to be. Was this your favorite story? and what is your favorite animal? You should check out
    My blog
    ~MARIA
    Blog you later

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Maria, Ted here. I liked doing the writing because it was intersting wondering what I was to write next and it was fun to write to. Blog ya later and thanks for commenting

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